I don’t think I’ve ever felt this bad at work before.  I just realised that I’m a disappointment when I don’t do OT. And I hate it when people think they know me so well. You don’t know nuts about me so stop acting like you know me inside out. It makes me sick. And don’t tell me you understand. How can you understand the ups and downs of normal people when you’ve prolly never had a single setback in your diamond studded life? You don’t know shit.

Well enough of that rambling. Here’s the good part: I had an enjoyable Tuesday afternoon. had a 2.5 to 3 hour baking session with her at home. And before that, I went a little crazy and baked Chocolate chip cookies, Almond tuiles and tried a new recipe - Parmesan choux puffs. Quite yummy I must say. Although it turned out a little soft, think I may need to tweak the recipe a lil’ when I’m free and in the mood to do so. Anyways, we made a chocolate fudge cake with an Orange & Lemon jelly sprinkled with frozen raspberries and blueberries. It’s quite a sinful cake. Lucky for the jelly which tones it down a notch. We made almond sponge fingers too.  Nice.

Before the baking session, I was pretty nervous-kept visiting the loo. But it turned out that it was easy and very comfortable talking to her. Even easier than talking to some of my aunties.  After a few weeks of little interaction with people, I welcomed the open conversation I had with her yesterday & I really enjoyed it. Very much. I just hope it wasn’t disappointing and the cake was yummy.

I realise now that I’m happier baking at home. MUCH happier. At work I feel like there’s an invisible hand that keeps prodding my back, urging me to do things and watchful eyes on my back every second. I hate it-not that I feel pressured-just that it makes me feel like a bloody trainee! I mean, HELLO!!!! My brain faculties are STILL functioning! Dont treat me like a bumbling idiot! It’s not my first week in the kitchen for goodness sake!

Screw that. The main focal point should be that I enjoyed my tuesday. Thank you, thank you.