28th Feb:

Had been looking forward to events coming up in the evening yesterday. Kept the ‘weather outlook’ pretty bright & sunny during the day. Dinner was at Lagnaa, superb, as usual…ooohh the naan….the curry…**droooolllllll……….* Hmmmm… Next up on list was shopping for groceries-spices & all….we’re cookin up a storm!! Shopping & buying stuff from the shops was SO, SO fun. Came back to the shop & did some mise en place. We made cheese, yoghurt & garam masala. Sounds so cool right..??!!! Haha! We did a great job on the prep work…WE’RE GOOOOOOODD……..!!!!!! Bwahahahaha…food’s gonna be fantastic too!!

29th Feb:

It was a girl’s night out- Ta Jie, Sis, J2 & J3 &&&& me!!! Had dinner @ Waraku Pasta Cafe(Sis’s treat) followed by B&J @ Dempsey(J3’s treat)… It was SOOOOOO goood…….took a few pics, not uploaded yet.. Went to ‘Jones The Grocer’- high end grocery store @ Dempsey. COOOOOLLLLL place!!!!! Things are expensive though but it’s stuff you can’t get from the usual places so….hmmmm… We met Jonathan there!!! Hee hee hee…… The babes are going for karaoke….& I can’t go coz I have MOUNTAINS & MOUNTAINS & MOUNTAINS of meringue to make tomorrow morning…*sob sob* the POWER of TV……sigh…. I’m so tempted to go karaoke with them…. sigh…….. *YAWN*………….Somebody pamper me……..

P.S. I can’t wait for Sat & Sunday night…..tee hee hee………..SO EXCITING!!! Ta!

It’s 11am and I’m at work feeling damn bloody pissed off. Not work this time round. I’m so pissed off i can scream the whole place down. I can gut someone right now.

Give people a little more leeway & they start steppin’ all over my head like a sponge. What am I?? A step toy?!! Stop taking me for granted. I will help when I’m needed to but why is it that once my help ain’t needed, I’m just, basically nothing?? I certainly don’t like being under-appreciated but not only do i NOT get acknowledgement & appreciation from YOU, I get some bad ass fucked up attitude instead!!! And because of that, I’m gonna get into deep shit!

***continue later….

Just wanna say thanks for the Starbucks goodies in the morning the other day!! They were all very very much appreciated!!!

A BIG THANK YOU!!!!!

I never thought I’d love indian food so much. And I’d never have stepped into Little India as often as the past week or 2!! Thank good I’m not racist!! Bwahaha!! But the ’smell’ has never bothered me. In fact, love the smell of the jasmine flowers when I pass by the shops selling them…lovely…

The garlic naan did it all….I can’t stop thinkin about it!! Goes with the Palek Paneer I think??!! Can’t get the names right yet. Heh… I think eating with my hands is a real feat!! Geez…Loks easy peasy but…hmmmm.

Had an awesome dinner there with some real goody friends. I loved the company, loved the food. Absolute heaven…

Had marsala thosai last night. YUMMY!!!! Then followed by a party last night & the people are crazy!!! Hahaha. But that’s the whole reason why I enjoyed it. Never a person to socialise but I could’ve laughed my guts out around them. Haven’t had so much fun in a long, long time…Thanks for bringing me there. But, hey, I’m a ‘hot date’ eh??!!! (yeah, you can laugh your guts out at that..)

Again….I’m happy…and smiling with not much complaints for now. Who gets the credit?? Hmmm…. Oh, especially when a Starbucks is opening at UE Square!!!! Woo Hooooo!!!!!!

”But remember the time I told you the way that I felt

That I’d be lost without you and never find myself

Let’s hold onto each other above everything else

Start over, start over ”

”I’d rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I’d rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I’d rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I’d rather have the one who holds my heart” 

I picked out those few lines from somewhere..just some stuff that I feel & believe in. Some people have proven themselves as the types who would walk away in times of need. Some will, some have. But there are that few who stick around no matter what. Keepers…definitely.

I don’t know how comfortable people are hearing/reading this but for the past few weeks, I’ve not smiled so much in a long time. I haven’t been happy in this way for the longest, longest time. It’s goood….but it can be better. I’m can be a patient bitch sometimes.

Anyways, I feel restless and outta sorts today.

It’s true, vday is darn waaaay overrated, judging from the throngs of people I had to squeeze through in the malls. Bleargh. Plus, couples were holding ugly-and I mean UGLY- bouquets of flowers. Yeeesh…

You people would NEVER guess what I did last night.. I wouldn’t in the slightest bit ever, ever, EVER thought I’d do it….but I did…I was at Kbox…..AND I actually sang(but I was being  blackmailed/threatened into singing!!!!) And I was alcohol-free!!!

Funny bit was I actually enjoyed myself. It was pretty fun! Honestly. Just pity the people in the room who had to hear me sing. Good grief!! Great company *wink*, or rather, the best company I could ask for. Thanks..

I could never have imagined what happened yesterday. shocked the hell outta me.

Anyways…Im very grateful for Ah lian & frances. I don’t know what else to say. Maybe sometimes I take things too jhard. I’m still learning how not too. Definitely making lotsa mistajkes along the way. I figured out that I’m really afraid of people walking out on me. Really.

Don’t mind the spelling errors…happens when you’re high on alcohol.

Hope it’s a better year for all of us. in some ways if not all.

It’s probably just a surface thing but makes me happy anyways. I don’t want to think about what it means down under. I don’t want to guess. I’m tired & I just want to be happy that it’s even happening at all. I have to try to stop hoping coz hoping only raises my disappointment level. And it hurts.

It’s been almost a decade since the last time he held my hand..It was nice walking side by side, hand in hand, enjoying the breeze. It was a much better movie than Sweeney Todd, that’s fer sure. My hand felt small in his & it made me feel safe & protected. I wish that he’d never let it go. I wish he’d never let me go.

How can loving someone be so painful? And so difficult? Last night was a difficult one. Unbearably painful. The words are still swimming in my head, can’t seem to shake them off. Is it real? Does he really mean them? What should I make out of it? What can I believe? When is it the truth? I don’t know…Is it supposed to tell me something?

How is it that you care for me but yet do things that hurt me?? Don’t you know that it HURTS?? Just when I thought I could erase the pain, this incident brings back the raw edges of what I’ve felt before & had tried so hard to get through.

The feelings are intense, they’re like little explosives going off inside. Can I still hold up? I don’t know, but I feel I’m crumbling. I’m back into the dark room with four plain walls, and just a chair in the centre of it all.

Will I still feel the touch of your hand on mine? And your breath on my face? Will I still feel your arms around me? Will you look at me the same way?

Are the simple things I yearn & wait for so difficult to give?