I don’t know if it’s me but is it not ok to have some space of your own in someone’s house? Some privacy to do your own things at your own time? I thought that especially since THAT someone is family, they should be even more understanding? No???

I find that sometimes I don’t have the freedom of reading my book, surf the internet on MY laptop, sleep in, listen to my iPod..etc etc.. I’m being labelled as ‘anti-social’ WHY is that?? I need ME time!!! Is this a break for me or not??!! It’s worse that workin! I’m a prisoner here doing what people ask of me, want from me. I have to act the way they deem I should be acting. Basically, I have to BE someone else. I can’t go where I wanna go coz I don’t have a car/license & difficult to get around. I have to go according to people’s times/schedules etc. I do NOT like this whole thing/situation.

What’s wrong with me thinkin about people back in sg? What’s wrong with worrying about people I care about in sg? WHAT’S wrong with me having my own thoughts while in the car? I can’t be talking 24/7, I can’t be smiling all the time. I’m definitely NOT an entertainer, I hate to socialize & can’t do it for nuts. I have things to think about! The new house, my new plans, projects, ideas etc So many things to do and think about. I’m a brat, but unfortunately not a rich one who doesn’t have to lift a bloody finger to do anything. Money IS a problem and coz of that, sometimes time becomes a problem as well. Now, even using the phone & sms-ing has made me an ‘anti-socialite’. Once I start sms-ing, I get stared down.

Just coz you’re married to a rich, influential guy who loves you like hell doesn’t make you superior or any wiser. We all know that you’re happily married. We’re happy for you but don’t push it. Don’t force your opinions or whatever on people, on me. Your husband prolly lets you push him around-that’s just coz he really loves you-but I’m NOT a pushover(not saying he is but I’m not your husband). I’m a single individual. I don’t wanna sound ungrateful or anything, I really appreciate all you’ve done for me & am very grateful & happy but it doesn’t give you the rights to the reins of my life.

I didn’t mean for this to be such a long post but I need to do this. I can’t call anyone to talk. Unless I wanna get a heart attack when I see my singtel bill. Which…I’m a little fearful already.