I’m still in Sunshine city & just finished celebrating new years eve…had tons of champagne, great dinner by aunt jesse-Salad, Red Wine Beef Stew, followed by Lemon Meringue tarts(done by me & aunt Jesse)!! Yummy!!!! I think I’d need to go weigh myself tomorrow. yikes…

Watched a little of the fireworks display…it was ok…

Today was an ok day…not too bad..a lil’ better, to be honest. A little problem with the new house, so teeny bit worried. Lookin at kitchen renovation designs & drooling over the laptop!!! Wonder how much it’ll cost….sigh…..

I MISS BAILEYS!!!!!!!
I’m still wondering if I’ll make it to the tattoo studio…..doesn’t have to be miami ink…read quite a few reviews online about it & apparently more bad ones than good. So……guess I won’t be popping into South Beach after all.

HAPPY NEW YEAR peeps!!! I hope it’ll be a fantastic fantastic year for all of us! (…..well, except the mean people) Bleargh!

I don’t know if it’s me but is it not ok to have some space of your own in someone’s house? Some privacy to do your own things at your own time? I thought that especially since THAT someone is family, they should be even more understanding? No???

I find that sometimes I don’t have the freedom of reading my book, surf the internet on MY laptop, sleep in, listen to my iPod..etc etc.. I’m being labelled as ‘anti-social’ WHY is that?? I need ME time!!! Is this a break for me or not??!! It’s worse that workin! I’m a prisoner here doing what people ask of me, want from me. I have to act the way they deem I should be acting. Basically, I have to BE someone else. I can’t go where I wanna go coz I don’t have a car/license & difficult to get around. I have to go according to people’s times/schedules etc. I do NOT like this whole thing/situation.

What’s wrong with me thinkin about people back in sg? What’s wrong with worrying about people I care about in sg? WHAT’S wrong with me having my own thoughts while in the car? I can’t be talking 24/7, I can’t be smiling all the time. I’m definitely NOT an entertainer, I hate to socialize & can’t do it for nuts. I have things to think about! The new house, my new plans, projects, ideas etc So many things to do and think about. I’m a brat, but unfortunately not a rich one who doesn’t have to lift a bloody finger to do anything. Money IS a problem and coz of that, sometimes time becomes a problem as well. Now, even using the phone & sms-ing has made me an ‘anti-socialite’. Once I start sms-ing, I get stared down.

Just coz you’re married to a rich, influential guy who loves you like hell doesn’t make you superior or any wiser. We all know that you’re happily married. We’re happy for you but don’t push it. Don’t force your opinions or whatever on people, on me. Your husband prolly lets you push him around-that’s just coz he really loves you-but I’m NOT a pushover(not saying he is but I’m not your husband). I’m a single individual. I don’t wanna sound ungrateful or anything, I really appreciate all you’ve done for me & am very grateful & happy but it doesn’t give you the rights to the reins of my life.

I didn’t mean for this to be such a long post but I need to do this. I can’t call anyone to talk. Unless I wanna get a heart attack when I see my singtel bill. Which…I’m a little fearful already.

Sometimes, some rich people turn me off. Just because you’re rich and have friends who are rich doesn’t make you a better person. Or a smarter person. OR a wiser person. At all. Pissing me off.. A little mini confrontation caused a mini rift yesterday morning on our way to Disney’s Animal Kingdom.

Anyhow, don’t wanna talk about yesterday.

This morning, was lazing in bed..refusing to get up. She was kinda pissed coz I wasn’t awake. Hah…so much for sleeping in. Bleargh. Apparently, only 1 thing got me jumping up. That call in the morning!! That was way better than striking lottery. Even waaay more impossible than striking lottery…Ha!! Made my whole damn day! Geez….am I dreaming??

It should’ve been a happy event for me, considering it was my birthday. But..half the time was spent talking down to me, treating me like a some f**king kid, ignoring me & being condescending. I really wanted to just walk out & jump on a flight to somewhere. I don’t wanna be here. Not right now.

Here are the better bits: Aunt Jesse bought me gingerbread latte & a cinnmon roll thingy from Starbucks. Gave me a giftcard for shopping. Had dinner with Ami & Jim, they gave me flowers & a present..:)-a got a talking card & a giftcard- followed by dessert at another place called Bern’s Steak House. They have a mean variety of desserts-I had the Chocolate Chip cookie souffle–VERY VERY nice…..comes with a shot glass of vanilla sauce & a mini jar of thick chocolate sauce. Sinful. Also in a LARGE variety there is wine. They have almost a million varieties in their wine cellar. How I got to know this? I went on a tour of the kitchen after dessert. Apparently they have this service for everyone who dines there. Not just me. Real neat service I must say!

Also, they have a LARGE selection of dessert spirits….YUMMY!!!! What else can I say? We had this dessert wine called the Ceretto Moscato d’Asti…Amazing amazing bottle of liquid…I have to get my hands on that.

Id better leave out the not so nice bits.

Apart from all this, Thank You everyone who’s sent me a birthday greeting. Thanks Sis for calling..you have no idea how much it meant. It’s these little things that reassure me you’ll always be here for me. And thanks mom for giving me the option of flying the hell outta here, wherever I want to go(even when the money could be put to more pressing issues right now). And thank YOU for remembering my birthday even when you’re drinking & I’m miles away…

It’s funny how I’ve always wanted to break away from the shelter of my parents but yearn for the same thing from somebody else. Ironic.

One of the things I wanna get soon is the Wii. That much said, I’m gonna try to save up for it.

Disappointingly, I didn’t make it to Miami. That’s the other thing I wanna save up for. Step foot into Miami Ink & get my back patterned.

That’s about it for now, I think. Sigh…just wait till tomorrow comes.

Flight to Tampa was horrid. Many Cheeeena people seated all around me. Screwed 1 of the ladies on flight. Idiot. One of my connecting flights was in Minneapolis. Man was it freezing cold there!!! It was snowing…nice…

It’s my 3rd night in St. Petes & been nice so far…eating & drinking alot. Scary…..

Christmas eve night was great. It was great to see Aunt Jesse & Joe after so long…missed them. Fantastic that Ami & Jim could join us too…they were great company. We had so much laffs, my cheeks were aching so bad! Opened the pressies in our christmas stockings first-carefully personalized by the couple-there were a few….each one of us took turns to open pressies & lotsa pics were taken, many clinking of champagne glasses after each pressie opened…imagine how much we drank!!

First thing Christmas morning, we opened presents & took photos, & had orange champagne!!! Followed by scrumptous brekkie & a morning walk.

Overall, as usual, aunt got lots of BLING BLINGS!!!!

I miss Baileys..hmm….wish she could be here with me. I’m sure she’d enjoy herself much more than me. I wonder how she is..hope she didn’t think I abandoned her.

Bought lotsa stuff today…scary…Im sure it’s not gonna fit into my luggage..oh dear…

Wonder if it’s expensive to send stuff back to sg from here….:P shall go check it out….I need it!!

Temperature here is about 18degC, colder at night. Especially when sitting in Joe’s ‘topless’ car….COLD!!!

Heard about some things happening in the shop  I’m very worried. Mum really busy with the house and all, and I feel bad that I’m here enjoying myself. Wish my vacation was shorter so I can go back quick to help settle some stuff.

Seems like Dec 07 has a whole chain of bad events…argh…and the bad feeling lingers around…

I’ve been trying to concentrate with a lot of difficulty lately. Mind’s somewhere else. I try to smile as much as I can so that people around me don’t feel so affected, but it seems to need tremendous effort to do it. Every time I try to smile, it hurts more.

I seem to be back at where I was a few years ago. I feel the same feelings, emotions, hurt & helplessness. Only this time I realise there is a streak of anger.

But thanks to F, Pa, SY, Pr…these 2 nights were a little easier. They made me laugh so much. Helped me push the ‘issues’ a little further back into my mind momentarily.

Yesterday, we went to Barracks for a private xmas lunch. On the guest list were Boss, Frances, Geby, Pauline, Priscilia, Jasmine & myself. We had an exchange of gifts & of course, a fabulous time.

Afterwards,we stopped by Centre Ps for some desserts & back to my place for an alcoholic xmas toast! Followed by shopping at Great world city. Fell in love with a dress at Zara…Fits perfect BUT…finance is on the downside after present buying..so too bad for me!

I’ve just been on a 1st date with someone. Not exactly the first..It’s kinda complicated to explain. I didn’t know it was one until the middle of it though. I’m not daft ok, just not in my wildest dreams.

Didn’t expect to hear the things I heard, neither did I expect the conversation to be as such. I was shocked, speechless & with some kinda delayed reaction. Not that it was all bad. There were things I’ve been wanting to say for such a long time but due to the sensitive circumstance/s, I didn’t know if it was the right time to let it leak out. I was afraid of the consequences-very much so. I can’t afford the risk.

It was a nice walk back to my place. Lotsa things going through my head. It was a toughie trying to work out the thoughts goin on up there in my head & to respond promptly to my date. I didn’t want to seem rude but there’s really too much. He thinks too much sometimes & maybe I’m guilty of hesitating more.

What should I do? Sit around and wait some more? a little more?

To be honest, his absence on the 14th will be disappointing to me-very much so. Hurts too…but I know that my dear sis made the effort to celebrate my birthday specially for me so I will try not to let it get me down. I totally appreciate it & I cannot, CANNOT ask for anything more than that. And I’m very happy & excited!!!

Thanks in advance, Sis!!!!! *MUACKS* Love ya lots!!!!

It’s been ages since I last blogged….been too busy, too tired & too lazy, to be honest. It’s Christmas time again & it’s a hell period for me.

Work hours are darn long & hard. My right arm feels like it’s gonna fall off anytime & break into a gazillion little pieces. Ouch. And because of my night shifts…I’m gettin my days & dates mixed up. ALOT. Bad…Only good thing is, I sleep through the day & I don’t get up to eat. I lost weight!!!! Woo hoo!!!! That’soneof the very few ups about workin the graveyard shift.

And recently(actually since the Taipei trip), I’ve gotten hooked to Starbucks. Nope, wrong guess. Not the caffeine but the Skinny hot chocolate w/out whip cream. Love it, love it, love it. Everytime I promise myself I’d go to Central to do a take away before I start work….end up not being able to get up. But last evening, a very kind dear soul gave me a sweet surprise…just when I was gonna start slogging. Yippee!!!!! HOT CHOCOLATE!!!!! It’s a great perk up through the night. Poor boss was jealous she didn’t get her ice mocha… The other day Ah lian got us drinks from starbucks & got a frap for her..Ooops…she doesn’t really like the frap & it was too sweet…but thanks anyway, ah lian!!! So sweet of you to get the drinks for us! *hugs*

Our last off day was mon & it felt like forever that we last got our rest. So, I’m gonna make it to Gramp’s place today-miss all my cuzzies & aunties, and Mum. Eyes wanting to close but can’t do that…if I sleep, I’m not gonna get up until tonight-BAD. Have to keep awake…. And hopefully gonna catch a movie tonight!!!! Hmmmm, and if I’m not sleepy, maybe I’ll go for a walk by the river too.

Tons more to say but I’m not gonna type anymore. My wrist is gonna snap off already. So, ta.