It’s a nice clear sky tonight..nice & bright full moon too. No stars and no breeze though. Bought a few CDs today. All chinese!! Here’s one of the songs.

–Never thought I’d listen to him!!!

Had dinner at Tonkichi with Morgaga. Really grateful for the company.

**It’s been a long time since I did the things I wanted to do right there and then, and I’ve been procrastinating a lil’ too. So…I’ve set a date next month to do those 2 things I’m thinking about right now.

It seemed like a long draggy day today. A big part of the early afternoon spent just sitting on the sofa & staring into space while Baileys slept in my arms. Now it occurs to me that maybe I was meant to name her ‘Baileys’ and I’m happy it wasn’t anything otherwise. It’s late but I can’t sleep.

nakanaide, nakanaide, nakanaide!!

Someone knock me out?? Pleeeaasseee…?

Met Roger by chance at Starbucks today….then Morgaga came…It was so nice to see him. Was waitin for Sera to finish work & go for dinner.

Ha, I realise I’m losin my focus. Can’t seem to concentrate on something..Becoming very scattered..but doesn’t feel so bad after a few drinks. Heh. Been a LONG time since I last drank I think…niceeee…..Feel a bit zonked our…almostfell asleep in front of the pc… It’s like I’m not in control of my eyes now….

I wonder………………………………………………..

It’s cloudy, rainy & gloomy…what a way to start the day. Weather is definitely in sync with how I’m feeling today. Only consolation, work ain’t too heavy & I’m at starbucks taking a breather. It’s a quiet day & thank god for that.

Had the company of my iPod at work this morning, blasted Sarah Maclachlan at 515am all the way till I walked outta the shop. Many songs spoke for me, almost seemed like they’re talking to me too…

One of em’ – I Will Remember You(Sarah Maclachlan)

—–excerpts from the song

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

Is it really possible to love 2 persons at the same time? Love in the romantic sense but yet a totally different kinda love??? I used to be leaning more towards the ‘nah…probably not…’ side but now…thinking about it, maybe it IS possible.

‘Our lives are intertwined but not joined’…yup, you may be right. Sounds almost tragic. I thought I kept my feelings well at bay. Thought I shielded myself enough but why am I still sad & why is it affecting me??!!! Honestly, it’s affecting me more than I thought it would.

Things were settled by the wake of dawn, but I still found my words stuck in the silence, hanging in the air, unable to be vocalized. Maybe some things are better left unsaid.

I’m so grateful for the past 5 months(sounds like I have some terminal illness & awaiting death!!) But a mere ‘Thank You’ here doesn’t seem to do any justice at all. I’m so grateful for your kind words, your generosity & your efforts. Your smile really brightens my day & your messages keep me going through work. Thanks for letting me have so many things to look forward to during this time.

Again, thank you so much B. (From the very rock bottom of my heart) *hugs hugs*

Well, friends will always BE friends so…. J And you know where to find me(and Baileys!!). J

For all of you who don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, I’m just trying my hand at a short story.

Sigh….how time slips through our fingers……

Have been very stressed over Baileys’s housetraining.. Oh by the way, I forgot to do an intro….Baileys is the latest addition to my family, my female dog. MY pride & joy..*content & happy sigh*

Oh, the stress part…she’s been peeing on the EXACT same spot the last few weeks even if it meant lotsa spanking. Worst spanking was when she peed in the ‘wonder’ spot thrice within 20min!! It was SO frustrating I almost hit the ceiling! But I made it through to today, 1st dog obedience training for Baileys & myself. It’s never just a dog thing-it’s a 2 way partnership to make things work—EVEN in this case!! Talked to Sunny(our trainer) about the problems & possibilities of why Baileys does it in the ‘wonder’ spot-which there are only 2 that we could think of so far….anyhow, we shifted the urine tray to another spot & changed the playpen area. For the last 1 and a half hours, she’s peed TWICE on the urine tray!!!!!(Get this: her ‘wonder’ spot isn’t even covered or blocked!!) Although it’s only been 90min, but it’s been a great encouragement-to me, basically. I feel SO much less stressed & happier!!

People always say that she’s just a dog, a pet. HELLOOO!!!! Bailey’s will NEVER be JUST A DOG. She’s everything to me. I’m a happy & proud ‘Mummy’!!

Works been the cause of my insanity lately..my grouchiness has been impossible. I hate myself for doing the things I do sometimes but it happens faster than I can curb it. So, I have taken a backseat till tomorrow. I can feel my sanity slowly flowing back to me now..such a relief.

I’m so happy Morgaga’s back. I’m happy he enjoyed his Greece trip. And I’m so happy hearing about his greece trips. Thank you for the gifts!!! So sweet… Can’t bear to use the lock though..(it’s an old fashioned lock-real cool!! will post a pic of it shortly). We(Morgaga & I) met up with Sis & family at Max Brenners the other night for dessert-SUCKED to HIGH HEAVEN!! Goodness gracious…It was bad from the service(WHAT SERVICE??!!!) to the quality of the dishes served. I got a shock of my life! My first & very bad & definitely the LAST time I’m going there. They ran out of chocolate souffle,amongst other things, can you believe that??!!! So we ordered the crepe suzette to share. There was supposed to be raisins, mascarpone cheese, sugared orange peel in the crepe. Here’s my take on it: raisins were scant, mascarpone cheese sauce in the crepe SPLIT and turned out grainy & sandy, NO sugared orange peel inside. The best thing out of the whole yucky dish?? Of course there’s something good-there always is- THE CHEAP TASTIN VANILLA ICE CREAM atop the crepe. How’s that? Disappointment is SUCH an understatement here!! Morgaga even overheard one of the staff complaining about our table!! Don’t even talk about customer service, there isn’t even simple plain courtesy!!! Phui!!!

Corrinne May’s coming for a concert 3rd August at NUS. I’m SO going for it!! No doubt about it. I’m still waiting anxiously for her new album to come out!!

Now it seems to me, that it really isn’t worth sacrificing anything for anyone. Not worth doing anything for people who say that you’re the closest friend they have. It all sounds like bullshit to me. At the end of the road, it all ends up the same way. It takes 2 hands and 2 willing hearts to make things work. I tried, but apparently I’ve just been slapping thin air all this time.

Why do I continue to do the things I do?? Especially when it’s all disappointments after disappointments? I don’t know, maybe I just DON’T learn. ‘Once bitten twice shy’ they say…I get bitten so many times but I STILL don’t get it. Maybe I’m just stupid.

Think I should just stay a listener & learn how to shut my trap. Nobody wants to listen anyways.

Think I’m being negative & pessimistic? Well, can YOU blame me?

Apart from all that, THANKS B for everything. For being there for me, for the great company, for making me feel I’m worth something & for going through all the trouble of doing things for me(although this one should really be a SORRY!)

Finally!!!! The Phantom Of The Opera!! They’re here once again & I just came back from watching it. It was awesome, simply astounding!! Thank you Auntie Margaret for buying us the tickets!! We were all pretty close to the stage. Good for a blind person like me!

A small little BUT….this cast wasn’t as good as the one I saw the last time..new cast I think…this time I enjoyed watching the conductor & the orchestra alot though!!!

I have a new addition to my family….will keep you all posted soon. *suspense music*……..

MISS YOU Sis!!!