Another round of sleeplessness…argh..Hate it when I desperately need to sleep and that’s EXACTLY what I can’t seem to do. Was lying in bed about 9.30pm…so happy with myself that I’m finally sleeping early until…I find myself tossing & turning. Darn. Anyway, there seemed to be heavy traffic on the communication line last night. And when I FINALLY got to slumberland…it was a nightmare-literally. All the way till 5am. Double darn.

Today was a crazy day at work. Finished almost 6.30 or 7pm. Don’t seem to be able to clear the pile of work. My bossie brought out a point: Lack of sleep brings down brain activity= lack of sleep makes you STUPID. I’m getting a lil’ ‘thick’ up there maybe. Or to certain people, most definitely. Ah…WHO CARES??!!

I received a compliment today. At the end of the day while Frances & I were finishing up. She feels that I have a lot of potential & it’s too bad other people can’t see that. Although I don’t believe so, I thank her for it. It’s a form of encouragement I guess. Something I really need now coz I’ve lost my motivation. At least, a certain percentage of it. Want to kick-start it, but am feeling lazy & tired right now.

It’s another classic case of me being taken for granted. People always seem to. I think it’s due to the history of the last 10 years(apart from my foul temper & lousy attitude) that I feel it’s impossible for anyone to really love me. They just want something from me-not that I have anything to give….at least not that I know of right now anyways…

When you say you love me, do you really? Or do you think you love me? Do you know me? Or do you think you know me?

One thing that trips me the most is when people judge me. Judge my actions, my feelings & me for the kinda person you think I am. Just coz you had the easier path doesn’t mean others are as lucky as you. Taking a deeper look into things, you’d realise there isn’t ever a clear line between black & white. Especially when dealing with humans & emotions. Who are you to say something is black OR white? What you say is entirely YOUR opinion, your perspective. Don’t ‘tune’ other’s eyes to your colour.

I don’t even know why I’m saying all this crap. Probably had too much potato.

Heavy dinner=heavy thoughts.

Crap. Whatever.

Time to crash.