I had a reading from Renae a while back and boy is she spot on! Kinda amazed & freaked out. Don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing, BUT definitely a BIG thing for me…not gonna post details on it until I get more firm concrete info on it so bear with me. For now, it’s causing loss of sleep, confusion & a sense of not knowing what to do..I want to take a next step but afraid of taking THE wrong step.

Work’s gettin a little crazy now..scary. Right now, at this moment, I’m mentally tired. Just paid for my aunt’s wedding cakes & favors…ouchie…BIG HUGE hole in my pocket!!!

Suddenly..there just ain’t nothin’ to say…weird..

"The hardest thing to do is to watch the one you love, love someone else"

Hmmmm…I know how that feels..yuck.ouch.

Well, work has been insanely topsy turvy. More so than I tried to prepare myself for. It sucks. So many times I wanted to surrender to let go. Sometimes, the more I think about it, the more I feel I don’t belong here, with these people. There are many push factors(and still counting) and a few pull ones, here & there. Sad, almost a tragedy, I feel. *sob sob* BLEARGH, yeah right.

I was sick for 3 days and still COUNTING!! Immensely grateful for the break, I slept & slept, skipped meals & just slept! No day, no night, just badly needed sleep. But because I’m sick, I don’t feel refreshed at all. Had like gastric flu, nausea, giddiness, fever, body ache, bloatedness, chest tightness blah blah.. and possibly suffering from stress, anxiety & exhaustion. Wow!!

Continue soon, going for dinner now. TA!!!!!!!!!

This IS Living Hell. Work is a Living Hell right now. I put in all of my time & effort not to mention hard work. And WHAT DO I GET???!!!! ACCUSATIONS & DISSATISFACTIONS, one after the other. Plus, someone keeps bailing out on me!!!!! I’m so pissed right now. Never been more stressed & unhappy with my job. I’m SO FRUSTRATED but trying my best to hang on & fight back the tears. Fighting the temptation to simply walk away. I’m so tired that my knuckles are swollen, aching, my left arm is slightly swollen, back is snapping, heels & feet feel like they’re about to give up on me, eye’s are burning, trying so hard to keep them open. Dark eye circles & eye bags!!! Hand feel so tight & so dry & so stiff!! ARGH!!!!!

                    I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!!

Other people get the same or higher pay but…. when they’re working, I’m working, when they’re not working(sleeping, shopping etc…) I’m STILL WORKING!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!! All the stupid dumb ass people!!! It’s not even near Christmas yet & I’m already burnt out. I need a break.

If this isn’t Living Hell, I don’t know yet what is.

This IS Living Hell. Work is a Living Hell right now. I put in all of my time & effort not to mention hard work. And WHAT DO I GET???!!!! ACCUSATIONS & DISSATISFACTIONS, one after the other. Plus, someone keeps bailing out on me!!!!! I’m so pissed right now. Never been more stressed & unhappy with my job. I’m SO FRUSTRATED but trying my best to hang on & fight back the tears. Fighting the temptation to simply walk away. I’m so tired that my knuckles are swollen, aching, my left arm is slightly swollen, back is snapping, heels & feet feel like they’re about to give up on me, eye’s are burning, trying so hard to keep them open. Dark eye circles & eye bags!!! Hand feel so tight & so dry & so stiff!! ARGH!!!!!

                    I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!!

Other people get the same or higher pay but…. when they’re working, I’m working, when they’re not working(sleeping, shopping etc…) I’m STILL WORKING!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!! All the stupid dumb ass people!!! It’s not even near Christmas yet & I’m already burnt out. I need a break.

If this isn’t Living Hell, I don’t know yet what is.

This IS Living Hell. Work is a Living Hell right now. I put in all of my time & effort not to mention hard work. And WHAT DO I GET???!!!! ACCUSATIONS & DISSATISFACTIONS, one after the other. Plus, someone keeps bailing out on me!!!!! I’m so pissed right now. Never been more stressed & unhappy with my job. I’m SO FRUSTRATED but trying my best to hang on & fight back the tears. Fighting the temptation to simply walk away. I’m so tired that my knuckles are swollen, aching, my left arm is slightly swollen, back is snapping, heels & feet feel like they’re about to give up on me, eye’s are burning, trying so hard to keep them open. Dark eye circles & eye bags!!! Hand feel so tight & so dry & so stiff!! ARGH!!!!!

                    I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!!

Other people get the same or higher pay but…. when they’re working, I’m working, when they’re not working(sleeping, shopping etc…) I’m STILL WORKING!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!! All the stupid dumb ass people!!! It’s not even near Christmas yet & I’m already burnt out. I need a break.

If this isn’t Living Hell, I don’t know yet what is.

This IS Living Hell. Work is a Living Hell right now. I put in all of my time & effort not to mention hard work. And WHAT DO I GET???!!!! ACCUSATIONS & DISSATISFACTIONS, one after the other. Plus, someone keeps bailing out on me!!!!! I’m so pissed right now. Never been more stressed & unhappy with my job. I’m SO FRUSTRATED but trying my best to hang on & fight back the tears. Fighting the temptation to simply walk away. I’m so tired that my knuckles are swollen, aching, my left arm is slightly swollen, back is snapping, heels & feet feel like they’re about to give up on me, eye’s are burning, trying so hard to keep them open. Dark eye circles & eye bags!!! Hand feel so tight & so dry & so stiff!! ARGH!!!!!

                    I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!!

Other people get the same or higher pay but…. when they’re working, I’m working, when they’re not working(sleeping, shopping etc…) I’m STILL WORKING!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!! All the stupid dumb ass people!!! It’s not even near Christmas yet & I’m already burnt out. I need a break.

If this isn’t Living Hell, I don’t know yet what is.

This IS Living Hell. Work is a Living Hell right now. I put in all of my time & effort not to mention hard work. And WHAT DO I GET???!!!! ACCUSATIONS & DISSATISFACTIONS, one after the other. Plus, someone keeps bailing out on me!!!!! I’m so pissed right now. Never been more stressed & unhappy with my job. I’m SO FRUSTRATED but trying my best to hang on & fight back the tears. Fighting the temptation to simply walk away. I’m so tired that my knuckles are swollen, aching, my left arm is slightly swollen, back is snapping, heels & feet feel like they’re about to give up on me, eye’s are burning, trying so hard to keep them open. Dark eye circles & eye bags!!! Hand feel so tight & so dry & so stiff!! ARGH!!!!!

                    I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!!

Other people get the same or higher pay but…. when they’re working, I’m working, when they’re not working(sleeping, shopping etc…) I’m STILL WORKING!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!! All the stupid dumb ass people!!! It’s not even near Christmas yet & I’m already burnt out. I need a break.

If this isn’t Living Hell, I don’t know yet what is.

This IS Living Hell. Work is a Living Hell right now. I put in all of my time & effort not to mention hard work. And WHAT DO I GET???!!!! ACCUSATIONS & DISSATISFACTIONS, one after the other. Plus, someone keeps bailing out on me!!!!! I’m so pissed right now. Never been more stressed & unhappy with my job. I’m SO FRUSTRATED but trying my best to hang on & fight back the tears. Fighting the temptation to simply walk away. I’m so tired that my knuckles are swollen, aching, my left arm is slightly swollen, back is snapping, heels & feet feel like they’re about to give up on me, eye’s are burning, trying so hard to keep them open. Dark eye circles & eye bags!!! Hand feel so tight & so dry & so stiff!! ARGH!!!!!

                    I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!!

Other people get the same or higher pay but…. when they’re working, I’m working, when they’re not working(sleeping, shopping etc…) I’m STILL WORKING!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!! All the stupid dumb ass people!!! It’s not even near Christmas yet & I’m already burnt out. I need a break.

If this isn’t Living Hell, I don’t know yet what is.