I’ve been working 15 hours straight..haven’t gone home, maybe I don’t wanna go home. I think I’m retreating, closing up. Work has become an escape for me yet again. From many things. It eases my mind & gives it some rest. Shitty part is when I stop working & sit down to take a breather. Mind starts wandering. Not good. I’m getting tired, sick of things as they are right now. Feels like the alcohol days are here a-knocking again. Time to get drunk every single pathetic night. The shots, the cocktails, the music & the loss of control & my good senses. Sounds pretty enticing to me right now.