I have a pc of GOOD news today…still a secret tho so I’m not telling till it has come to pass….heh.

But, I have BAD news too…this one, I can tell. The damn stupid woman is going to florida with us!!! What a pain! Dumb-ass sucker, useless bimbo! *phui*!!

Work was shitty, my mood’s been shitty. But….I had a wonderful evening. Hasn’t happened for the longest time. Didn’t think it would ever happen again, actually!  I was relishing every single moment from 4.30 all the way to 11.30pm.

OOOOH LA lAaaaaaaa…….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is it, you ask?? Heh heh heh….it’s for me to know & for you to guess..and   guess & guess…..  HA!

Oh, btw, got a call from Joey last night. Someone’s getting hitched! CONGRATULATIONS, girl!!

I forgot to add….while doing my tattoo…they started blaring Beyond’s Live & Basic album!! How COOL is that??!!!!

Today, just came back from dinner with Dad, grandma & Aunt Jesse. Aunt Jesse sold me out on my tattoo! Anyway, Dad already saw & kept mum. In any case, he was pretty cool about it.

Dad urged me to take up driving…if I pass, well, maybe I just might get a ‘little’ present next year! Wonder if I should even think much about it. I’m happy just to hear about it anyway.. Geez, I’m such a sucker!

Don’t know why I’ve been in a terrible irritable mood lately. Getting pissed at people for no apparent reason at all. Sometimes all I wanna do is stay at home, read my book & listen to music-ALL day long. Don’t have to bother about anyone, anything, at all. How serenely blissful! Hmmmmm…….DREAM ON!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve FINALLY gotten my first tattoo!!! Woo Hoo!! It wasn’t exactly a walk in the park, but it ain’t all that bad.   I can’t wait for it to heal! Right after I finished the tatz, I was already thinking about my next one! Heh heh heh…. It’s pretty memorable coz’ I did it together with my aunt.

Well, that pretty much closed my doors to any kinda work in a hotel but…who cares?! I can imagine the amount of nagging & reprimanding that’s gonna come my way but….WHO CARES?!

I’m so happy & excited with my new tatz that I can’t sleep.. stupid me…

I miss my mum when I don’t see her but I hate it coz I automatically feel compelled to BE nice & good around her. At least I try, most of the time. But most of the time, she irritates me & I don’t feel like talking to her. Around my family, especially tonight, I feel suffocated & uncomfortable. I feel uncomfy around my family(mum’s side) and unwanted around friends. I simply don’t feel like I fit anywhere. When I’m ok around people, am I really ok or am I just pretending? I don’t mean to be a hypocrite but it seems like I don’t know myself sometimes.

I feel sad because I’ve been hearing about how difficult I was as a kid to raise, how crabby & temperamental etc etc and how difficult & hard on my it was on my mum and I should be really grateful to her and I AM. I’m grateful to her for alot of things & I owe ALOT of things to her but….we just don’t clique. We can’t get along. I don’t know how to put this across without sounding ungrateful. I really, honestly try sometimes but……

26th June, Monday

First day at Lenotre school. NOBODY speaks English! Classes are ALL in french! There were 4 of us in class. There was this Belgium girl who-thank heavens- speaks english! She’s definitely god-sent! School was okay. Did different sable doughs. Learnt some ingredient names in french. Already bought a few books from school & cost a BOMB. Geez…and this is only the 2nd day in Paris! Bummer.

Food at school was GOOD!! We gad beef on Mondays - steak!! with potato gratin & some vegetables. There were bread, pasta salads for starters, yoghurt, dessert, salad etc etc For drinks, we had coke, coke light, water, tea, coffee, the usual but….something else we had in the fridge, free flow…was….red wine!! And it’s supposed to go real well with coke!

Anyhow, we’ve decided not the change our motel to a hotel or any other place after all. Too much hassle. We walked more than an hour(got lost again!) to the supermarche just to find it closed! Thank god for a bakery 3 shops down the row! Yummy baguette. Ate all the way back to the motel. Yums!! It’s 8.30pm & sunny & bright outside - with bird chirping! It’s a beautiful day…..or night rather.

25th June 2006 - Sunday

Shity Motel. Notice the ‘M’?? No aircon, no fan, no door lock, no kettle. It’s like a bedroom community & shops/restaurants are closed Sundays and Mondays. So no food, nothing. Decided to go try find the supermarche(supermarket). Supposed to be 5 min walk away. We walked for more than an hour & still no sign..turned back & got lost!!

When we got back, we were making so much fuss that the guy at the reception offered to drive us to the train station -Saint Quentin for 10€. So we went off, fumbled around alot & took a train to Champ des Elysees (the shopping area with big boutiques & restaurants, cafes etc) On the way, we passed a train on fire!!! We were on the hunt for Laduree, a cake shop. Found it after much walking & we were so in awe of the stuff on sale! The french pastries & all were pretty much traditional french, some were quite modern but they were all cut throat expensive! Bought  few cakes to try out and of course MACARONS!!! Yummy!

We passed an art museum, wanted to go in but the queue was so long we skipped. Only took pictures of the grand entrance though!

Passed by Gap & Zara & I got all excited!! Didn’t go in though.

The underground subways are dark & scary especially after all the terrorist attacks & suicide attempts in the past. Yikes! Always at the back of my mind, wondering, what if…..

Halfway through shopping, started pouring & we got drenched. No umbrella nor raincoat. It was a long journey back to the motel. We ended up at a different terminal! Went through the hassle of asking people for directions again(tough considering we can’t speak a word of french!) So after much questions, we finally got back on track. Then…some ‘clever girl’ pressed the button on the train but not hard enough so the door didn’t open & there goes our stop!!!! Fed up….SO, when we finally did get to the right station, we needed the people to help us call a taxi. Had to ask the girl at the info counter again. The both of us stood in front of the counter, I was waiting for her to open her big mouth to ask but no! She was waiting for me to do all the askin! Dunno why the hell she can’t ask! Like as if I speak french!! Why do I have to ask all the time? I don’t speak anymore french than she does! I feel like I’m mothering her! Shit! And…she’s supposed to know more french than I do!! Fed up!! Fed up!! Fed up!!