It’s raining….again. Even tears run dry…why don’t the rain? It’s just as well I’m staying at ms tonight anyway..suits me fine, goes with my mood. Finally made it to my hairdresser’s today..wanted a trim…came out a cut instead. Got a lil’ annoyed actually but oh well…already cut. No point saying anything more. I got a small lil’ piece of info from her today about ***. It may or may not mean anything to *** but I wish I could be there for ***. I sent a message to which of course went to the void-no reply. What was I expecting anyway? Already in a blue mood lately & this mini incident ain’t helpin’ at all. It just got darker.

My off day today was supposed to be packed with a visit to the hairdresser’s, followed by a lil’ shopping & 2 movies back to back thereafter but I quit after my first appt. I bought a subbie & went back to the shop. Talked to Frances-always nice talking to her cause I know she’d listen & most of the time she’d have a different perspective. Many people don’t listen to me anymore so I just quit talkin. Did a few no-no things. Things I’d do when I’m down.

I realise that generally as people grow older, they tend to go about their own lives, doing their own things - that’s how even best friends grow apart. No matter how much they say they’d stick by you & they’ll always be there for you. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but it always just end up like that, doesn’t it? Then your circle of friends gets smaller, eventually it shrinks & dwindles down until it’s just you. Maybe I’m the one not making enough effort to stay in touch. Maybe it’s just karma saying ‘See? You haven’t been treasuring your friends enough, so now, they’re all leaving you. And thus, it’s just you. Too bad, you asked for it. You should have spent more time with them when they were still around.’

Sometimes, it’s so scary to be alone. I know that I can’t expect anyone to always be there for me. So maybe I should just live with being alone, and try to get used to being by myself instead of depending on others to have time for me. It’s times like this when I start to question the importance of friends, friendship, love, romance blah blah blah.

What IS the point here, exactly?