I really don’t know what’s come over me today..was so clumsy at work. Thank God I have a forgiving & understanding boss. I couldn’t concentrate on work, my mind kept wandering…my thoughts were all over the place. All about someone actually. Wondering how he is, what he’s doing, how he’s doing… I know I shouldn’t…but…I can’t help it. I just…can’t. It’s so painful…so, so painful.

We were in love before
But now it’s so much more
Cause when I kiss your lips I can’t explain
What I feel in my heart for you

I don’t know what I’d do
Baby if I lost you
Cause I’ve been without you and I know how it feels

I keep thinking about ****. I tried shifting to thoughts about work & how much I had to do etc but it just kept going back to the same person, same old things…Things that have happened these few days seemed to rake up my past & the history - in .terms of memory…it sure did jolt my memory. Maybe it started when Frances asked if we’ve been in touch lately. I want so much to tell **** how my heart feels right now, and what I’m thinking. But I don’t have to guts to say anything. Probably not gonna help anything anyway…It’s been so long since I’ve shed a tear & cried over anyone but today, today I feel like crying. Maybe too much suppression, pressure build-up that I can’t take it anymore. I’m about to burst…..

If you’re reading my blog, I really miss you. I honestly do..I wonder how you’re doing, I have so much to tell you. (I can just imagine what you’re gonna say!) But it’s not that I’m not moving on, just that my feelings aren’t & that doesn’t mean that I’m stuck in life.

It’s so funny how the simplest things in life can cheer you up but yet it never happens either that, or it takes forever to happen.

Pain…ureshikunai….sabishii…nakitai…..