It’s been such a long 2 weeks…esp this week. So much to do, so little time. But still enjoying every bit of it tho’. We’re busy but we still have our fun at work too! ALTHOUGH not everyone is workin as hard as should be. Oh well…. But yesterday, Frances & I left work early to go for a movie - The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Pretty scary movie considering it’s a true story! But I felt it was very sad too. I think I wanna go get the book & read it! After the movie….guess where I went?? Ha, nobody would guess this but…..I went to church with Frances!!! Only for about half hour though. It was interesting, but boring, hee. It was an experience however.  Thereafter, we went for a japanese dinner(I found out a secret from Frances!!! So sad…so sad….so, so guilty) & window shopping….and Ben & Jerry’s ice -cream!!!! Woo Hooo!!!!! Dublin Mudslide! YUMMY!!!! Hey, sis, we have to go together soon!!!

I love working with Frances & Boss…they’re the reason why I’m still happy working there. They’re not just colleagues, they’ve become very close, personal friends. I’m so grateful for them.

Next…I’ve been shortlisted to go for Phase 1 of the written assessment for the WGS(World Gourmet Summit) patisserie scholarship. Being shortlisted isn’t anything much…it’s only the very beginning. And of all days it has to fall on the eve of my boss’s wedding. Frances & boss has been urging me to study for the assessment. But honestly…where can I find the time & energy to study esp when I have to work overnight as well this few days?? So, I’m just gonna leave it alone…if I get through, I get through. If not, too bad. But I have other plans. Hee….Although it will definitely be a great experience to go to Paris/France to study for 2 weeks.

I’m off tomorrow!! But so many things to do…..run more errands…buy more stuff…sigh…. But not complaining! Coz I’m doing it for somebody close & important to me!! And it feels great for the few of us to work as a team!

Last Friday night Nicolette, Kimmy, Oli, Frances & I went for boss’s hen’s night - we had great plans for her but decided to let her go easy. So in the end we just went for a simple jap dinner. Thought it might be wierd but it didn’t turn out too bad…it was ok.

It’s 12.20am & I just got home from work… It was another ‘powerpuff girl’ day today. Just us 3 babes plus a student-Elrica- who’s coming in for a week.  It was already a depressing day to begin with, not to mention the following ‘action’ during mid-day.

The crazy BSH(aka Big Sh*t Head) made trouble for us again & said nasty things to my dear Frances. And ’someone’ pulled me into the picture which was TOTALLY UNCALLED for.  Caused me to feel so uncomfortable & guilty after that. All this squabbling & screaming & what nots is really stirring up ALOT of negativity in the shop…I personally feel that the kitchen staff is being highly taken for granted. Why does or why should everything be done in their convenience? What business are you talking about when we are the ones producing your products? Without our production, what f**kin business do you have to talk about? So PLEASE!!! Kindly treat us with respect. It goes both ways..don’t talk & point your finger at others when you’re the one you’re describing in a quarrel! SHAMELESS BIATCH!!!

After the whole episode, the whole air seemed so tense & so depressing.. Anybody would be able to feel it just by walking into the kitchen at that moment. SY & I both agreed that having so much work is already stressful enough & so our talking & joking is our way of relieving that stress. We used to look forward to going to work coz the few of us are pretty close & we can feel the ‘togetherness’ but now it seems like it’s being taken away. So technically, there is NOTHING…I repeat, NOTHING to look forward to except seeing my dear bossie & my dear chef Frances. Not to forget that I feel even more depressed than I already was in the morning! Thanks but no thanks BSH.

P.S: BSH now changed to BSS(Big Sh*t Stirrer)

Well, anyway….enuff of the shit stuff. Gonna stink my blog if I talk too much about it. 

Jus Frances & I stayed back…did prep work for Bossie’s upcoming BIG wedding!! time seemed to fly & suddenly, it was already almost 11pm!! So we wrapped up showered & I kinda got a lecture from Dad…sigh…nothing I can do Dad…at least not noe, not yet. I may be a disappointment but right now, I’m happy even if I’m working my ass off. Give me some time…

And all you people who think you know me well(but in actual fact you DON’T…!) Don’t try to preach to me & pretend that you do. It’s DISGUSTING!!!!

I’m supposed to come back home & do the roster & schedule & table for the wedding but I’m so tired now….I have to sleep…another long day tomorrow…..

PISS OFF BSH/BSS..!!! Oh, and btw….it’s so PATHETIC that when something happens, you just simply go running to phone to call your okaasan & start complaining. ONLY pathetic, shameless little immature kids do that.. GROW UP & try to take care of your OWN shit!

And before you ever complain about someone being a distraction to the kitchen staff, just remember that - ahem, excuse me - quite often a little monkey comes to the shop as well? Yes he may be cute but that’s NOT the point. The main thing? DISTRACTION. Tell me, just WHO is the distraction now? Eh?

I really don’t know what’s come over me today..was so clumsy at work. Thank God I have a forgiving & understanding boss. I couldn’t concentrate on work, my mind kept wandering…my thoughts were all over the place. All about someone actually. Wondering how he is, what he’s doing, how he’s doing… I know I shouldn’t…but…I can’t help it. I just…can’t. It’s so painful…so, so painful.

We were in love before
But now it’s so much more
Cause when I kiss your lips I can’t explain
What I feel in my heart for you

I don’t know what I’d do
Baby if I lost you
Cause I’ve been without you and I know how it feels

I keep thinking about ****. I tried shifting to thoughts about work & how much I had to do etc but it just kept going back to the same person, same old things…Things that have happened these few days seemed to rake up my past & the history - in .terms of memory…it sure did jolt my memory. Maybe it started when Frances asked if we’ve been in touch lately. I want so much to tell **** how my heart feels right now, and what I’m thinking. But I don’t have to guts to say anything. Probably not gonna help anything anyway…It’s been so long since I’ve shed a tear & cried over anyone but today, today I feel like crying. Maybe too much suppression, pressure build-up that I can’t take it anymore. I’m about to burst…..

If you’re reading my blog, I really miss you. I honestly do..I wonder how you’re doing, I have so much to tell you. (I can just imagine what you’re gonna say!) But it’s not that I’m not moving on, just that my feelings aren’t & that doesn’t mean that I’m stuck in life.

It’s so funny how the simplest things in life can cheer you up but yet it never happens either that, or it takes forever to happen.

Pain…ureshikunai….sabishii…nakitai…..

The kitchen staff excursioned to Changi Meridien Hotel to recky the place this afternoon…geez, its only about 2 weeks to her wedding!! After that, we adjourned to her new place, all done up & livable already. Done up really nicely, superb view - an urban view from the living room & a resort, rest & relax view from the kitchen & dining area. Plus point is that her house is on the 24th floor & really windy. Nice……

They have a nice small aquarium, very interesting to look at & very pretty. I can sit there & just stare at the fish tank for hours!! There’s this little room at the back of the house & Frances was saying that the both of us can crash at her place & just take that room!!! Heee……

The few of us made a pact to go blading after Christmas- we all have to go blades shopping! So exciting, can’t wait!

Being at her house reminds me so much of my old place in Jurong West St.52…. I’ve constantly had dreams that I got back my old flat..so happy staying there. If only……

Pat dropped Frances & me at Bedok MRT & we walked from the train station to the interchange. Walking that stretch was like walking down memory lane. Memories of the times I used to hang out there so often.

Does happiness come naturally or are you supposed to make the effort to go get it? Sometimes it feels like I’m back to where I was 7 years ago. Can’t forget it can’t stop it, just try to suppress it. Hide it, hide it. Work will cover it. Just don’t know how much longer I can suppress my feelings.

Wonder…..

Today is a killer day…a 350pc croquembouche. And my boss had to leave at  7.30am to go distribute her engagement cakes….I was left all alone to finish the ‘Puffy Giant’. Scary & definitely didn’t look forward to it at all. Anyway, took the WHOLE morning to finish it. And I really meant the WHOLE morning. It was humongous!!

Thank God it was for 5 in the evening. Otherwise I’d rather have dug a grave for myself there and then. It was frustrating especially when I have other production to do too… Ended up couldn’t go for Happy’s graduation… :(  So tired….finished after 7pm again today…I wonder if it’s gonna be a common everyday trend from now…geez…

I’m not the one getting married but I feel the stress…especially yesterday. Caused me to almost explode in the shop. I wasn’t pissed with my boss but caused me to get so pissed with someone else. I REALLY HATE it when someone promises me to do something & ends up dragging & delaying the ‘action’ part of it! And there’s really no point in pressurizing me coz I CAN’T do anything! And that person thinks that I’m SO FREE!!

WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT I’M ALWAYS FREE??!!! DO I REALLY SEEM LIKE A BUMMER??? TOTALLY SICKENING! I’M SO GODDAMN BUSY THAT EVERY SECOND COUNTS! I CAN’T EVEN CROSS THE ROAD OVER TO 7-11 TO GET SOMETHING! GET IT???!!!

Ha, & someone even asked if I can sacrifice some sleep to go out, so I asked how much of my 3-hour sleep I have to sacrifice. I’m BUSY! B-U-S-Y. BUSY. Understand ‘England’??!!!

Dordia recommended me to try Cedele’s Lavender Cookie, said that there were good reviews so I went ahead to give it a try. Didn’t look like much so didn’t expect much from it. Ended up…..it’s really good! Just a little insufficient lavender….I’m jealous. And it’s got almond slices in it. YUMMY!! So in the end, I went back & bought another 2 pcs for my boss & my dear Frances.

Now it’s time to do something important - S-L-E-E-P! ZZZZZzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzz….

I’m back from dinner with the 3 Js!! We went to Manhattan Fish Market. Firstly, I have to apologise for being about an hour late - had to work late today(rushed like mad!) Sweet Frances let me shower first! Sorry ladies! So I brought with me 3 pcs of our bestseller - the Passionfruit Meringue!!!

I had the baked fish with herbs & rice. It was super yummy! Plus, the service was SUPERB. Julia, the waitress serving us, was very attentive & saw to all our needs without the need to be asked. It’s something worth commending her for. This, is the kind of standard that I feel Singaporeans in the service line should try to adapt.

Apart from the yummy food & fantastic service. Another reason that would make me go back is the big screen in the restaurant. It’s not just another big screen showing crap. It’s like a window to the underwater world….shows you the life in the ocean & the different creatures you see when you dive. And, they even have the name of the creature they’re showing - which is educational! What else can you ask for?! Hearing this, you probably should already guess that my eyes were so glued to the screen most of the time!!! You get to see turtles, giant humpheads(like the ones I saw at Sipadan!! HUGE!!), triggerfish, barracudas, morays, lobsters, fusilis, etc etc etc….. I can’t stop blabbering when it comes to diving… sorry, my bad.

Anyway, dinner was great, company even better. Now I’m being enticed to going for a Phuket trip end next year!! AHHHH!!!! Dive! Dive! Dive!

Pssssst…..you guys… HOW CAN JUST SNORKEL????!!!!!!!

Btw, about work today…I have been carrying trays & trays of banana cakes that now, both y arms & wrists are aching!!! OUCHIE! But they’re for my dear bossie’s wedding so… No fret.

I’m so sleepy…and stomach not feeling well again…I guess still not stable enough to take solid meals yet. Anyways, we took a photo together! I’m just gonna end with this beautiful pic of us….

I’m at crossroads…Akuma Divers are planning a trip to Layang Layang and it’s not expensive - $1400 to $1500 considering its a 8D7N trip. But I’ve already promised Sis & ’someone’ we’d visit him next June. It’s something we’ve been meaning to do since a long time ago. It’s something that’s really WAAAAY overdue. 10 over years too late. So, I guess the better choice would be to go to HK.

But…I really miss going diving. Being in the midst of the ocean is like being transported to another realm. I miss the beautiful corals, the creatures big & small(mainly the small for now!). I love the feeling of the soft salty sea water on my skin. Though there are many dangerous creatures in the deep blue sea, somehow or rather, being in there gives me the feeling of total freedom(as long as I have enough air!) It’s as if time is being frozen. Surrounded by all the beauty & wonder that Mother Nature has bestowed on us. Mmmmmm….simple heaven!!! We should be grateful & appreciative of all the things that we already have, be it good, or bad. Best if they’re good, but for bad ones….well, take ‘em as a learning experience & it’ll still become good thing!

Now tonight, I’m looking forward to my dinner with the gorgeous 3 Js tomorrow…something I’ve never done before!!! Exciting!!