Sometimes I just wanna be alone. I really mean ALONE. No calls, no messages, no meet ups. Nothing. People just don’t get it. I get mass messages askin if I’m ok, that I should talk to someone about my sorrow & distress. But WHO said anything about me being unhappy in the first place? Do I have to be unhappy to want to be alone? I don’t need company ALL the time. Maybe it’s just me but I can’t stand clingy, ‘needy’ people who call & call & call, message & message & message continuously. Irritates the shit outta me sometimes.

Finished work a little later today. Many BIG orders coming up… It’s so unfair how the working world works… Some people get a paycheck they deserve, some don’t get what they should be gettin & some get a paycheck they DON’T deserve. Life is so unfair. But I’m just griping. Guess I should be content with what I have right now.

As if work isn’t good enough a reason to look forward to, I always love the time when Frances & I go up to shower, occasionally we’d talk- about our families, about work, relationships etc. I really enjoy the talks we have. Especially when she usually is able to see the other side of the box. A total different angle/perspective. Make me think & ponder. Also coz of my work schedule, it makes it a little more difficult to talk to anyone so I’m glad she’s there. I’m glad Boss & Frances are there. I feel like I’m so much closer to them sometimes(or most times)!! I feel I’m able to tell them anything. Of course I have my dear, dear sister too but she’s very tired too so try not to bother her too much.

Was crossing the road in front of UE Square today - a busy road as per normal. The cars’ headlights were so dazzling & blinding, should’ve been afraid that they’d come too fast & I should be walking faster to get across but something seemed to be drawing me to the lights. Didn’t want to move. I stood there, just plain looking at the lights, unable to move until they honked at me. That’s when I got outta the ‘frozen’ state & crossed over. Wierd…

Question: Fame, wealth, recognition etc etc more important? Or small satisfaction, freedom, flexibility & happiness?  Well, not that fame & all won’t make you happy but…you get what I mean. Dilema… be content with what small things you have, keep your promises or take the risk, be an ungrateful betrayer & fly?