There’ve been so much happening lately I don’t know where & how to start. I should start of with Kerry’s hen party…well, not that much of a party but a cosy gathering with all her jie meis!! Whem & Sis came to pick me, the bouquet of flowers & the cakes up from home in the evening… proceeded to pick the star of the evening(and the following wedding!)- KERRY!!! Went to Eski Bar, met up with Judy & Joelle(her bf came along) had yummy cakes & icky drinks. I had a coagulated chocolate martini-YUCK!). We talked, laughed, ate, drank. Mainly did a rundown for the BIG DAY on Sunday!  Briefly discussed about how to torture the groom! Haha!! We left Eski & headed to Wala @ Holland…Ate real food this time! We had pizza, chicken wings & NON-alcoholic drinks! Ha! That was definitely a first for me! No rainbow & NO stare from my dear bartender! Barely started chomping & got a call from the people at the ‘thai disco’ sking Kerry to save her groom! So funny! Apparently he went around cheering people & got dead drunk! HAHAHAHA!!!! That definitely beat my consecutive Tequila pops a few years ago!! Woo Hoo!!! Only disappointment: didn’t get to see bear bear in his drunken state! Aiyah……

Next day….supposedly on leave but it was for dressing the wedding cake up & getting ready for SUNDAY!!! So early morning again on Sat…dusted the ‘xi’ word & painted on the wedding couple & the teddy bears…had to do the tin mike a la minute cos I had to measure it with the ‘crew’ teddy. Everything fit & measured….felt a bit more relieved.. Then had to go rush to meet Sis, get our shoes at Orchard & rush for a beautifying appointment at Holland V. We were there from 5.15 to 8.30pm…. Rushed to go buy the ‘torture’ materials for James…heh heh heh… Sis & I went home to slack & wait for  JamesKerry to come get the favours..And I had to g all the way down to MS to get my jacket for the day event… Tiring day!!!! Can already feel the excitement building up!!!!

Sunday morning…Sis gave me a wake up call at 4.45am…but I went back to sleep! Kept thinking it was 4.45am… It was raining zoos in the morning all the way since Whem & Sis came to pick me up…went to Kerry’s place & still pouring…had to ask Kathie to rescue us & bring us umbrellas! Guess who we saw?? JASON!!! A GUY!!! Everybody asked him the exact same question: What are you doing at the bride’s place??!!!

………….-break-……..

It’s dinner time & I’m darn hungry…I’ll continue this soon…. SO much to write!!! Wait patiently people!

4 more days to K & J’s wedding… getting so stressed…and I still have so much to finish!! NOT ENOUGH TIME!!! ARGH!!!!! My sweet boss has offered her help….I’m eternally grateful… A little relieved when she offered her hands today… *phew!*

Been getting support from sis this few days…feel more grounded knowing she’s there. A lil’ steadier. Otherwise, don’t know how in the suckiest world I would manage to cope at all. But the nights are so long.. can’t sleep, nightmares..bad dreams…images & thoughts of things I don’t wanna see & know. It’s taking away all my energy. None left for work during the day.

Got a message from FW yesterday during my leave. She’s so sweet, asked me if I was feeling better & cheering my up. Thanks a million, you have no idea how much it meant to me.

Apart from all the people I’ve been mentioning, the people who are supposedly my very NEXT-OF-KIN(family) are the ones adding to my problems. They’re all pissing me off & irritating the SHIT out of me.. especially my okaasan..sickening attitude problem again. I didn’t irritate her! I was trying my very best to be nice & patient with her regardless of how shitty I feel right now but all I get is a fucking attitude?  WTF?? Why the hell do I deserve this? Why the hell am I even putting up with it??!! Somebody TELL ME!!!!

For a change, I’m not gonna curse at anyone. Instead of hoping people drop dead, hey….how bout I drop dead for a change, huh?!

thank you sis, I LOVE YOU 2!!

If every drop of water disappeared from the land

And every drop of ocean suddenly turned to sand

That would all be nothing

Compared to what I’d feel

If you didn’t love me

What if I woke up and couldn’t hear a sound

And all that I could see was darkness all around

That would all be nothing

Compared to what I’d feel

If you didn’t love me

Been a crazy few weeks. Works been topsy turvy. But…Frances got married on the 3rd Sept! Boss’s birthday! She was SUCH a sight. She looked absolutely wonderful….so beautiful. I wish them bliss & happiness. After the wedding, went back to the shop & slept from 5pm till 9pm when she msged me about the meeting time at Bar None. Got a shock & woke up thinkin that it’s 4am & time for work! Felt like i just fell asleep! Luckily it was just her. Told her I won’t be going down also coz somebody couldn’t make it. Thinking about Delifrance for dinner but too tired & groggy to get up so back to sleep till the next mornin 4am! Nice long nap but still tired…..

After her wedding, work’s still crazy. Seem to have croquembuche orders every single day now!! What’s happening??!!! And all of a sudden people like to eat cupcakes??!!! Oh man…..

Next big thing: Kerry’s wedding!!! The teddies are here in my room, waitin to be wrapped up! & have to settle the wedding cake & the things that are gonna go on it. STRESSED!!

Had to get up about 4.30am this morning, supposed to start work early. And due to that, I was supposed to sleep even earlier. But however, I had a long conversation on sms with someone & that left me with about half an hour of sleep(if I actually got any sleep…)&…a HUGE empty hole.

Felt so sucky(understatement) at work…still do. Wanna thank SY & FW for being understanding & for listening to my shit all the time. Thanks for talking TO me instead of down at me. I really appreciate it. Sis, thanks for letting me noe you’re here for me. Why is love a burden to some people? Why can’t they simply appreciate it & accept it? It’s not my fault that I love who I love! Geez! It’s either I’m not getting it or I’m not being understood. Or is it a case of people not listenin & paying attention to me again??!!

My poor cousin Kelv is going in NS tomorrow. Feel so bad that I can’t go send him off. Can’t believe I’d say this but I will miss him. Hope he takes good care of himself.

I’m so lacking in sleep that I’m gettin my conjunctivitis relapse. In addition, my eye’s are puffy & can’t fully open. ZZZzzzZZzzzzZZzzzzzz………Damn this life.